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Thursday, September 28, 2006

oh no. no no no

i completely forgot to review for the orienteering weekend. this is not good...not being able to come to all but one review session, i might just flunk this. all those hardwork.... but with the rain and food and my family being complete, studying was not really appealing. oh well... i've survived college with cramming, maybe i will with bmc too. miracles do happen right?

4:33 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

emotional? or maybe stressed.

i've been listening to the AMCI hymn and suddenly found myself looking back at those 4 or so months of training. i remember my eagerness and anxiety on the morning of june 18, 2006. i did not know what to expect, it was like plunging into the unknown for me, but nonetheless i was enthusiastic about the whole thing. little did i know that it will lead me to one of the greatest adventure of my existence. i still can't believe the things i went through for a sport that was vaguely familiar to me. and i feel sad right now, as with every closing of chapters. the experiences i shared with people i barely knew are flashing before me right now. the first time i lifted that huge pack, being harassed by the cows, crying on the wall climbing and rappelling activity, crying again on the trail after tey's revenge, cooking hotdog for a bunch of strangers and the list goes on and on. i have come to love this sport and almost everything that came with it...
enough drama..i still have to study for our final quiz.

11:48 PM 0 comments

rumor has it

there have been speculations that i was quitting the BMC. i've been asked about it a couple of times and somehow i was on the list of the supposed people who complained about the training. i am breaking my silence...here's the truth as i know it.

as i was skipping (hah! i wish) down the trail of mt. ugo on the 3rd day i did thought that i was ready to trade in my technically new dry-fit shirt (training shirt being an urban legend and all) and hiking boots with my trusty cotton shirts and my oh-so-lovable stilettos. now, don't get me wrong...i did enjoy Ugo. it was "fab" as TB promised. i just thought that i had gotten all that i could out of this experience. i wanted a new adventure. i guess my "gemini" attitude kicked in... i got bored. not about the sport but the training. "i lost my motivation" were words that came out from my mouth. it got too habitual for me. doing something you don't really enjoy over and over again can get to you sometimes. i'm sorry but i am just not the type who gets "high" when running.

also, i have to admit i got pissed. i know that i am amongst the youngest of the trainees but that doesn't necessarily mean "you" get to boss me around. i am 21 years old not 7. "power trip" was never tolerated in high school, what makes "you" think that it will be now.

BUT i have decided to push through. with only orienteering weekend left, i would have to be insane to quit the training now.

membership is a whole 'nother story. not only do i doubt that i'll make the cut in the 15k run but i have come to the conclusion that i will never be the great mountaineer i would have hoped to be. and if the only reason pushing me to pursue membership would be "my sister is going to kill me" then don't you guys agree that it's just not a very good idea. yes, i have enjoyed this experience greatly, more than i can put into words. and yes, i still see mountains in my furture..just not in the near future. maybe someday i'd even try to conquer Apo...and hopefully it would be with the likes of Alman and Bajay, the people who i see have great passion for the mountains.

BUT we'll see. you can never can tell... and mums the word for whoever "you" is or maybe its "you-s". haha...


11:20 AM 2 comments

Thursday, September 21, 2006

everything that can possibly go wrong... did!

"i am not the strongest of climbers" would be an understatement, i am actually one of the weakest. so you can imagine their surprise when i announced that i was joining TC4. (someone's reaction was less than amusing but let's just not get into that right now). anyhoo, my sister and i had long planned that we were joining tc4, wherever it may take us. i cannot speak for her but my reason was simple "this maybe my last chance to climb ever". i wanted to suck up all the experiences i possibly can out of this training because i know that i will soon have to close this chapter of my life. ironically though, the universe conspired a different path for me. even before the 1st pre-climb meeting, i was already unsure if i should go. something was telling me not to... and that feeling grew stronger as each day progress. and there were signs along the way that kept bugging me. i even dreamt that Bajay got injured in the recon and the climb was cancelled. but i dismissed it telling myself that there was only one thing that could stop me from going... but as they say, be careful what you wish for. so here i am now, stuck in my room typing my disappointment away. i know that there has got to be reason that i am here now and not on that bus... i just have to be on the lookout for whatever that reason maybe. so for now, i send my good thoughts to those riding that bus, may everything conspire perfectly.

7:18 AM 2 comments

Sunday, September 10, 2006

a public apology

i would not blame the alcohol for i know that i was responsible for my own actions. i have no excuse whatsoever for my behavior on our 2nd night at Ugo and i don't intend to make up one. no one forced me to drink and i could have stopped at any time. so here i am now...humbly saying "I AM SORRY".

first off, i apologize to Jeng. i do curse a lot when i'm drunk...and i'm really sorry if most of it were directed at you.

i apologize to Sir Bojo and the rest of the group. i know we were suppose to be "relax" but i got a little out of hand. i'm sorry if i may have said things that went over the line.

i apologize to my sister. i know you're not used to seeing me that way and it really was not my best moment. i'm sorry for forcing you to take that shot even though i knew you don't really drink. i'm sorry if i may have disrespected you in any way. i'm sorry if i had embarrassed you.

i apologize to the rest of the team. i was rude, really noisy and quite frankly pretty annoying.

i apologize to Bajay. i still can't believe i said those things. i'm sorry. i'm sorry. i'm sorry.

and of course, sorry to mt. ugo. i was not able to show the respect it truly deserve. i forgot to honor the serenity of the place.

9:51 PM 2 comments